My Favorite Virtue of the Masses

While reading articles online I must peruse the commentary for angles that writers may miss. Often, what I learn in the comments rounds out the article itself with important details or counterpoints that even out a biased tone.  Crowdsourcing can be a powerful thing. The collective mind is often much more knowledgeable and aware than the lonely duo of writer and editor (add fact-checker for the better funded content producers). Many times a thesis can be thoroughly refuted in the comments. That's when my respect for the anonymous audience member spikes. I love that no matter how strongly the author is undermined or corrected, the article remains, static, seemingly unaware that it no longer has a reason to exist. That makes me laugh.

Other times however, the commenters themselves are hilariously witty. I want to collect here the better ones that made me stop in my tracks and laugh out loud reading them.

Abolish the Week!
Article on world standardized time measures.
Comment:

My father used to advocate one 24-hour standard time around the world. This would mean when the sun would indicate noon at 1200 in Britain, and 1700 in New York. Sunrise might be at 0700 in one area and 1500 further west. That way, he said, international businesses would only have to advertise their opening and closing times without specifying the time zone, and people in other areas doing business with them (or fathers in Ohio trying to call their sons in Texas) wouldn't have to stop and think, "Ok, it's 9:00 here. Are they one or two hours behind us and what time is it there?"

Reply:

Your father is dumb. 

Microsoft Has a Clever Plan to Promote Its New Tablet
Article about Microsoft promotion that make comparison with Apple tablets.
Comment:

Wife made the swap. She couldn't be happier. She absolutely loves her Surface Pro.

Reply:

I made the wife swap, and she couldn't be happier. I think the dude she ended up with is a dentist or something.

Spaceman Ace Frehley offers his bland version of Kiss’ story in No Regrets
Article reviewing Ace Frehley autobiography
Comment:

Does Eric Carr have an autobiography?

Reply:

Y'know how we told you Eric Carr moved away to a farm upstate where he can chase rabbits all day? Well… uh…. Jesus, this isn't easy…

Unraveling a fantasy: A beginner’s guide to Japanese idol pop
Article about J-Pop
Comment:

Remember Avril Lavigne's "racist" video? This is why it isn't: she was performing an honest (if crappy) homage to this stuff., filmed in Japan by Japanese people.

Reply:

You lost me at "Remember Avril Lavigne"

James Franco on Cormac McCarthy, nasty reviews, and tackling necrophilia
Interview about new movie from controversial actor-director
Comment:

This interview is the all-time nadir of the AV Club. Especially that fawing " gasp,
writing poetry as an actor." You know damn well his poetry is crap and, if submitted under any other name, would never have achieved publication. No one's putting him down for being a poet, or a visual artist, or a director or an actor or whatever. But for being a pretentious douche and getting into multiple programs he has no way of fulfilling the criteria for within the same time span, and which he was only admitted into, again, on the strength of his celebrity.

Reply:

Show us on the body pillow where he touched you.

'The Theory of Everything' Star Eddie Redmayne Reveals How He Transformed to Play Stephen Hawking
Article on actor's physical challenges taking on main role in biopic of ALS stricken scientist Stephen Hawkins
Comment:

Does the movie end before he leaves his wife and (figuratively speaking) runs off with his nurse? That really happened. Bold move, Stephen Hawking.

Reply:

Runs Off? ? ? ? ?

It’s all about the Kitty: Hello Kitty Con 2014
Article about Sanrio convention in LA
Comment:

Ok I have SOME Hello Kitty stuff but mostly I just love the idea of someone creating something that means so much to so many people!

Reply:

And do you love the idea of drug dealers, too?

How to Get Your Clothes Wrinkle-Free Without Ironing
Household product review
Comment:

If you go straight from the dryer to a hangar your clothes will be wrinkle free.

Reply:

Yeah, but what if you don't live in an airport?

Charlie Hebdo Is Heroic and Racist
A  mixed assessment of the satirical paper
Comment:

Charlie Hedbo is a little like Hustler magazine. Sometimes you have to hold your nose while defending free speech.

Reply:

Oh, man.  That's what you are supposed to hold when you find a Hustler?  oops.

Stay With Me cover / Won't Back Down (Mashup)
Video of merged performance of two similar popular songs
Intro:

Here's my "Stay With Me" cover by Sam Smith, mashed up with "I Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty. First time I heard the Sam Smith chorus, I couldn't help but hear a slowed-down version of won't back down. 

Comment:

Very nice! Your voice is way more pleasant to listen to than Sam Smith's too.
Your camera guy should try working without the unicyle, though.

Dr. Dre’s assault on Dee Barnes was cut from Straight Outta Compton’s script
Article on criticism of NWA movie script omissions
Comment:

True Fact: Dee Barnes was the first person to personally experience Beats by Dre.

R.I.P. Yogi Berra, baseball legend and wordplay master
Short obituary on his colorful life
Comment

Back when I was in Little League, the coaches gave me the nickname "Yogi" because of the ferocity I played with and how often I got big hits in the clutch. Also probably because I said some pretty ridiculously silly things.

Reply

When I was in Little League my teammates nicknamed me "Ratface." I'm sure there was a delightful reason for calling me that.

The FBI Found Emails Hillary Deleted. That’s Great News For Her—if She’s Been Telling the Truth
Article on FBI investigation on Hillary Clinton's private email server
Comment

Chelsea, be sure to finish your homework.

PS: murder Vince Foster